“The ‘medicines’ we take to combat carnal temptations are prayer, fasting, vigil, confession, and Holy Communion.”
To a young man who told him that he was experiencing
an intense battle with the flesh and that, as he believed, this battle would be
resolved once and for all through marriage, the late Elder Father Epiphanios
Theodoropoulos (1930–1989) replied:
“My child, you must know that the problem of man known
as ‘sarx’ (=flesh) is not solved by marriage, nor by celibacy, nor by polygamy.
The problem called “sarx” is definitively solved only by the “plax” (= the
marble slab), that is, the grave.
Marriage merely alleviates the problem. It does not
solve it. We must, therefore, remain vigilant throughout our entire lives.
Strive consistently from now on, asking God to strengthen you…
THE “SELF-CONTROL PILLS”
To another young man who told him that it’s impossible
for anyone to remain chaste today, he replied:
“Tell me, what do you think? Do we celibate clergy go
out with women or take pills to suppress our sexual instincts?”
Seeing the young man’s confusion, the Elder continued:
–Listen, my child: The “medicines” we take to combat
carnal temptations are prayer, fasting, all-night vigils, confession, and Holy
Communion. These keep both us and unmarried young people pure. Follow this
“prescription” yourself, and you will see how achievable self-control is. On
our own, we cannot remain pure for even a second. But with God’s grace and
help, everything is possible…
“DON’T YOU HAVE ANY DOUBTS?”
Once, one of his spiritual children said the following
to him:
–Father, I don’t believe in anything. Is there any
point in practicing self-control?
–No, my child. Absolutely none. Without God,
everything is permitted. But tell me: do you think I’m a fool?
–No, of course not.
–Selfish?
–Far from it!
–Well, doesn’t the suspicion even cross your
mind—since, as you say, I am neither a fool nor self-serving—doesn’t it occur
to you, then, that perhaps what I advocate and teach, specifically on the
subject of chastity, might actually be true?…
“OH, NO, AND MY SISTER TOO!”
One of Father Epiphanius’s spiritual children notes
the following:
“I remember the following conversation with the Elder
when I was a prospective student:
–Father, a fellow student at the prep school—during
our conversations—keeps bringing up this and that, constantly urging me to find
a girlfriend. Of course, it doesn’t influence me, but it bothers me. What
should I say to him to make him stop?
–Does your friend have a sister?
–Yes, Father.
–Tell him: “All right! But you’ll have to do me a
favor. You know what a good guy I am. So you’ll let me have your sister for one
night!” Tell him that, and we’ll see what happens next.
The next day, I put the Elder’s “plan” into immediate
action. My friend started up with his “usual” routine again.
–“Well, my friend,” I said, “why should I go looking
for a girlfriend? Why don’t you let me have your sister for tonight, and then
we’ll see?”
My friend recoiled, shocked! And he immediately
reacted:
–Oh, come on, not my sister! What, have we lost our
minds?
–Why not your sister? I replied. Isn’t the other girl
you want me to find someone’s sister or daughter, too? Why, X., do you want
someone else’s sister to “have fun” with, but protect your own? Don’t you see
that you’re wrong?
Ever since then, my buddy X. has been “tight-lipped”
about “girlfriends”! Happy myself, I went and reported the result to the Elder:
–Elder, the “plan” worked like a charm!
And the Elder said, smiling:
–Well, what did the young man think?!…».
“BY FLEEING!”
“The Fathers say: ‘All battles are won by attacking;
the only battle won by fleeing is the battle against the flesh!’…”
“THE MAN IS RIGHT!”
“Once,” recounts a spiritual son of Elder Epiphanius,
“I took an acquaintance of mine to him for confession. When he came out of the
confessional, he was clearly disappointed.”
“I’m never coming back!” he told me.
“Why?” I asked him.
“Well…” he replied, “when I told him I date women, he
asked me how old I was. I told him twenty-five.” So he continued: “Do you
realize how those twenty-five years went by?” “No,” I replied. “Well, another
twenty-five will go by, and maybe even another twenty-five years, without you
realizing it, and then you’ll die. And when you stand before Christ, He will
ask you: ‘I came and was crucified for you. What did you do for Me? Did you
make your body—which is the temple of the Holy Spirit—the members of a
prostitute?’”
My acquaintance told me more about the conversation
he’d had with the Elder, and I felt sad—not, of course, because I disagreed
with Father Epiphanius’s views, but because I thought the Elder could have cast
his “hook” so that my acquaintance wouldn’t have left feeling so disappointed.
The next day, I went to see Father Epiphanios and
explained the problem to him.
He said to me:
–Look, my child: Confession is a sacrament of
repentance. This means that the person who approaches it considers himself
worthy “of death” and is ready to accept—and indeed with relief—the severity
and rebukes of his spiritual father. Now, if someone has not realized “what”
the Sacrament is and thinks that Confession is an opportunity to discuss their
questions with their spiritual father or to express their pain in order to be
comforted, or that it is something like a session with a psychologist, then,
the situation is different, because he simply hasn’t grasped the true purpose
and meaning of the Sacrament. In any case, tell him to come so we can talk.
I finally found this acquaintance of mine, and when I
recounted to him the conversation I’d had with the Elder and suggested we go
see him sometime, I received the following response from him, which
demonstrates the Elder’s wisdom and sound judgment on the matter:
“But what are we supposed to go and say now?! The man
is right. Since I have no intention of stopping going out with women, there’s
no point in such a meeting…”
(“Life’s Hypotheses,” pp. 140–144, 11th edition, Holy
Monastery of the Gracious Mother of God of Troizina, Athens 1997)
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