“A
few years ago, I was the parish priest of St. Vasileios church (Piraeus) and
was called to hear the confession of a young man, Xenophon, 42 years old.
When
I arrived, his days were numbered. Cancer with rapid metastases had affected
his brain too. He was all alone at the ward, the bed next to him was empty, so
we were all alone.
This
is what he told me about how he came to Faith, since he was a “hardened
atheist” in his own words:
‘I
arrived here about 35 days ago, in this ward of two beds. Next to me was
another patient, about 80 years old. He was suffering from cancer too, in his
bones, and although he was experiencing excruciating pain, he was constantly
praising the Lord “Glory to God! Glory to God for all things!” He also recited
more prayers which I heard for the first time in my life since I was an atheist
who had never set my foot to church.
Often, all those prayers comforted him and he slept for a couple of
hours. Then, after 2-3 hours, he woke up again from the excruciating pain, and
he would start over “My Christ, I thank you! Glory be to Thy Name! Glory to
God! Glory to God for all things!” I was moaning with my pain, and this patient
at the next bed to mine was glorifying God. I was blaspheming Christ and the
Theotokos, and he was thanking God, thanking him for the cancer which he had
given to him, and for all the excruciating pain he was suffering.
I
was so rebellious and indignant at this! Not only for the excruciating pain I
was suffering, but also for his never-ending Doxology. He was also partaking
daily of Holy Communion, while I was throwing up in disgust.
–
‘Will you please shut up! Shut up and stop saying all the time ‘Glory to God’!
Can’t you see that this God, Whom you are thanking and glorifying, this same
God is torturing us with such cruelty? What kind of God this is? No, He does
not exist!’
And
the patient on the next bed would meekly answer me: ‘He does exist, my child,
and He is also a most loving Father, because with all this illness and pain, He
cleanses me from my many sins. If you had worked on some rough task, and your
clothes and your body stank, would you not need a rough brush to clean all this
dirt? Likewise, God is using this disease as a balm, as a beneficial cleansing
for my soul, in order to prepare it for the Kingdom of Heaven’.
His
replies got even more on my nerves and I was blaspheming gods and demons. All
my reactions were sadly most negative, and all I did was to keep on screaming:
‘There is no God. … I do not believe in anything. … Neither in this God nor in
His Kingdom …’
I
remember his last words: ‘Wait and you shall see with your own eyes how the
soul of a Christian who believes is separated from his body. I am a sinner, but
His Mercy will save me. Wait, and you will behold and will believe!’
And
that day came. The nurses wanted to place a screen, as is their duty, but I
protested against and stopped them. I told them ‘No, don’t do this, because I
want to watch how this old man will die!!!’
So
I watched him and he was glorifying God all the time. He also said a few ‘Hail,
Unwedded Bride’ for the Theotokos, which as I later found out, they are called
‘Salutations’. He would also chant “Theotokos Virgin Mary …”, “From my many
sins ..” and “It is truly right to bless you, Theotokos …”, and he would also
make the sign of the Cross a number of times.
Then
… he raised both of his hands and said “Welcome, my Angel! Thank you for coming
with such a bright synodeia to take my soul. Thank you! Thank you!” He raised
his hands a little bit more, he made the sign of the Cross, he crossed his arms
on his chest and fell asleep in the Lord. Suddenly, the ward was filled with
Light, like ten and more bright suns had risen all together, such was splendour
of the light with which this ward was lit!” And not only was this ward lit, but
a heavenly fragrance spread around, inside the ward, even outside the corridor,
so powerful that those patients in the neighbouring wards who were not asleep
and could get out of their beds, they came out and started walking up and down
the corridor, trying to discern where this special fragrance was exuded from.
Thus,
my Father, I, the hardened atheist did believe and called for you to hear my
Confession.’
*
Xenophon
was firm and merciless with his old self, but the Mercy of our Lord was great,
really great! He offered a clear confession, received Holy Communion a couple
of times, and departed in deep repentance, in peace, a holy death, himself
glorifying God!”
By
Protopresbyter Stephanos Anagnostopoulos
By: http://apantaortodoxias.blogspot.com/
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