Source:
“Wounded by Love: The Life and Wisdom of Elder Porphyrios, ”
published
by Denise Harvey, Limni, Evia, Greece (2005), pp. 122-126.
Listen
and I’ll tell you about something that happened to me a few days ago. A monk
who practices the Jesus Prayer came here from the Holy Mountain and he asked
me:
—How
do you say the Jesus Prayer? Do you sit on a low stool? Do you lower your head
and concentrate?
—
No, I replied. I say, Lord Jesus Christ... clearly in my mind, giving attention
to the words. LordJesus Christ, have mercy on me... Lord Jesus... That’s how I
do it in my mind and pay attention only to the words.
—That’s
not right at all, Elder, he said. The way you describe it is quite erroneous,
not to say deluded. The mind needs to be in the heart. That’s why it’s called
“prayer of the heart.”
—I’ll
tell you something else, I said to him. Sometimes when I would be facing some
temptation, I would bring into my mind the image of Christ on the cross with
his transfixed hands and feet dripping blood and with the crown of thorns
piercing his brow and with myself kneeling before him and saying to Him, Lord
Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.
—-And
you didn’t bring your mind into your heart?’ he interrupted.
—No,
I replied.
—
You are deluded, he said to me. The mind must be in the heart. Again, that’s
why it’s called “prayer of the heart.” Delusion!
He
got up to leave.
—Elder!
I said to him. Listen and I’ll tell you something. When I am repeating the
prayer in my mind, sometimes my joy becomes more and more intense. Moreover,
when my joy becomes ever stronger with the words, Lord Jesus Christ..., I feel
my mind leaping within me along with my heart. That is, I feel my mind
plummeting into my heart and there I experience all this joy as I say the
prayer.
I
begin with the mind and then my mind moves on its own when joy comes.
—So
that’s how you pray! That indeed is the way!’ he said to me. Forgive me for
accusing you of “delusion.”
It
is the mind that thinks. The heart does not think. Have your mind on God and
your heart will leap for joy spontaneously. It will feel compunction. For
Christ to enter your heart you must love Him. In order to love Him, He must
first love you. God must first know you and then you Him. He will stoop to you,
if you first seek Him. In order for Him to love you, you must be worthy. In
order to be worthy, you must prepare yourself.
First,
you must shun all self-interest. Prayer must be entirely selfless. Everything
must happen mystically and without self- interest. That is, do not think that
if you concentrate with your mind then grace will come into your heart also and
you will experience that leap of joy. Do not pray with that motive, but with
simplicity and humility. Aspire always to the glory of God. What did I tell you
about the nightingale? It sings without anyone seeing. Be like that—selfless.
Give yourself over to the worship of God in secret.
However,
be careful! As we said, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is
doing.
(Mt
6:3). Do not let your malicious self know what is going on. Live in Paradise
and do not let your evil self-know and envy it. Do not forget that there exists
the envy of the evil one.
Preparation
is also to learn to keep the commandments of God. To expel the
passions—condemnation, anger, etc.—in a subtle way.
That
is, do not strike at the evil directly, but, disdaining the passion, turn with
love to God. Occupy yourself with singing hymns, the triumphant hymns of the
saints and martyrs and the Psalms of David. Study Holy Scripture and the Church
Fathers. In this way your soul will be softened, sanctified and assimilated to
God. It will be ready to hear the disclosures of God. ‘Gradually grace will
visit you. You will enter into joy. You will begin to live in peace and then
you will become stronger by virtue of the divine grace. You will not become
angry, or irritated, you will not be offended, you will not judge others, but
rather receive everyone with love. You will have that which
Saint
Paul describes: Love does not boast... it does not behave in an unseemly
manner... it does not rejoice in injustice, but rejoices in truth; it covers
and protects all things, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all
things. Love never fails, (Cor 13:4-8). The prayer purifies the soul and keeps
the mind in check. The most perfect work is done in the depths of the human
soul, which is hermetically sealed and known only to God. And so we witness
something extraordinary: people who are transformed into children of God, even
though they had reached the very depths of their self-destructiveness.
And
I, too, wretched and crocked-up fellow that I am, make this effort. I do not
give myself over openly in prayer, but secretly I pray. Do you understand? The
grace of God comes and overshadows you too. It brings a freshness and joy to
youalso as we live together, eat together, talk and pray and simply keep
company with one another. Do you understand?